You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
