Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
