Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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