So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We have so much sex to catch up on
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
