Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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