At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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