Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
