Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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