i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
