I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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