Just took my morning after pill in the library
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I could fuck to npr.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
