Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
