Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
