I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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