Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
