You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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