You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize