eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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