Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
