I'm gonna have a badass scar
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
