You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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