I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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