his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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