You're my little dorito
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
