i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
