im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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