So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
