when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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