redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
