I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
