How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
