Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
