we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Sober January is a disaster.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize