My first STD was from a foam party
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
