I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
