new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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