You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It's blow job season.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
