A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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