Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
