ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
