Got a toothbrush?
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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