i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
