HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize