i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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