we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
