Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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