I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Randomize