I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
