you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
