If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
