Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
