that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
