K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
