Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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