Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I looked at my own cervix.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
she pinky promised me she was 18
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
