Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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