Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
There's even glitter on my cock...
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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