Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
