the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize