in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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