i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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