im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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