The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
