About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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