And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
