super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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