I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
