I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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