For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
