Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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