Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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