I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Randomize
