I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
