I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
