is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
