So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
