420 ftw
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
