that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
