I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
